BRIDGING THE COMMUNICATION GAP IN A RELATIONSHIP

Before we discuss communication gap in a relationship, we need to understand the term relationship.

Relationship can be described as a connection, association, or involvement between two or more persons. It could be an emotional, social, educational, official or spiritual association.

Relationship in this context does not mean an illicit affair therefore this article applies to every one of us as one way or the other; we are involved in a relationship.

Having settled the concept of relationship, we now move on to communication.

Communication is simply the process of imparting or interchanging thoughts, opinions, or information by speech, writing or signs.

From our definition of communication, it is therefore safe for us to deduce that communication can only occur between two or more people.

To maintain a healthy working relationship in any sphere of life, communication is very important.

Statistics have shown that many relationships especially those with emotional involvements tend to crash because of a gap in communication.

Sometimes in our relationships, we get to talk without communicating. Communication takes place not just when we talk but when the other party hears and understands us.

There are several factors that could cause communication gap in any relationship but we would just look at a few factors that are common in our society today.

v  Misplaced Priority

Most People never understand that relationship comes first. We chase other things rather than build strong and healthy relationships. We get it all mixed up and don’t know which should come first and in the process destroy our relationships. Sometimes we chase our career over our relationships forgetting that having the right set of people around you can help build your career but having a good career does not necessarily attract the right set of people to you.

 Our relationship with God should come first before any other thing and then our relationship with our spouse, family, friends, pastors, teachers, employers, employees and colleagues can follow before other things.

Mattew 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. (KJV)

As long as your relationship with God tops your priority list, every other thing will fall into place.

v  Attitude

Another factor that affects communication in a relationship is our attitude.  Our attitude to life, to the other party (ies) involved and to the relationship as a whole needs to be right to ensure effective communication.

For instance, in an educational setting, no matter how important an issue is, a student will not be free to relate with a teacher who hardly smiles or who is always angry. The same applies to a relationship with emotional involvements. Sometimes we feel like we are being left out of decisions made by people we are involved with or people we love. When this happens, we need to check our attitude because it could be that we have made ourselves unapproachable even without realising it.

Therefore in every relationship, we should engage in regular self examination to make sure our attitude is right.

v  Lack of Interest/Spark

This point applies mostly to relationships with emotional involvement. Two people who claim to love each other could experience a gap in communication when one party losses interest in the relationship. A loss of interest slowly leads to withdrawal and when that happens, the other party finds it almost impossible to pass any message across to their partner. This evidently leads to the end of that relationship as no relationship can function without communication.

Some tips that could help us bridge the communication gaps we may be experiencing include:

v  Establish the purpose of any relationship you have and set your boundaries

v  Treat your partner the way you will like to be treated.

v  When you have issues, speak out. Sometimes we expect our partners to look at us and discern what is going on with us but we forget that not everybody has the gift of discernment.

v  When you are tired of any relationship, invite the other party (ies) involved and dissolve it amicably rather than quietly withdrawing causing everyone to wonder where they went wrong.

v  Make time for your relationship.

In conclusion, I would like us to remember that no man can ultimately survive alone. That is to say building strong and healthy relationships is necessary and to achieve this, the importance of communication cannot be over emphasized.