BRIDGING THE COMMUNICATION GAP IN A RELATIONSHIP

Before we discuss communication gap in a relationship, we need to understand the term relationship.

Relationship can be described as a connection, association, or involvement between two or more persons. It could be an emotional, social, educational, official or spiritual association.

Relationship in this context does not mean an illicit affair therefore this article applies to every one of us as one way or the other; we are involved in a relationship.

Having settled the concept of relationship, we now move on to communication.

Communication is simply the process of imparting or interchanging thoughts, opinions, or information by speech, writing or signs.

From our definition of communication, it is therefore safe for us to deduce that communication can only occur between two or more people.

To maintain a healthy working relationship in any sphere of life, communication is very important.

Statistics have shown that many relationships especially those with emotional involvements tend to crash because of a gap in communication.

Sometimes in our relationships, we get to talk without communicating. Communication takes place not just when we talk but when the other party hears and understands us.

There are several factors that could cause communication gap in any relationship but we would just look at a few factors that are common in our society today.

v  Misplaced Priority

Most People never understand that relationship comes first. We chase other things rather than build strong and healthy relationships. We get it all mixed up and don’t know which should come first and in the process destroy our relationships. Sometimes we chase our career over our relationships forgetting that having the right set of people around you can help build your career but having a good career does not necessarily attract the right set of people to you.

 Our relationship with God should come first before any other thing and then our relationship with our spouse, family, friends, pastors, teachers, employers, employees and colleagues can follow before other things.

Mattew 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. (KJV)

As long as your relationship with God tops your priority list, every other thing will fall into place.

v  Attitude

Another factor that affects communication in a relationship is our attitude.  Our attitude to life, to the other party (ies) involved and to the relationship as a whole needs to be right to ensure effective communication.

For instance, in an educational setting, no matter how important an issue is, a student will not be free to relate with a teacher who hardly smiles or who is always angry. The same applies to a relationship with emotional involvements. Sometimes we feel like we are being left out of decisions made by people we are involved with or people we love. When this happens, we need to check our attitude because it could be that we have made ourselves unapproachable even without realising it.

Therefore in every relationship, we should engage in regular self examination to make sure our attitude is right.

v  Lack of Interest/Spark

This point applies mostly to relationships with emotional involvement. Two people who claim to love each other could experience a gap in communication when one party losses interest in the relationship. A loss of interest slowly leads to withdrawal and when that happens, the other party finds it almost impossible to pass any message across to their partner. This evidently leads to the end of that relationship as no relationship can function without communication.

Some tips that could help us bridge the communication gaps we may be experiencing include:

v  Establish the purpose of any relationship you have and set your boundaries

v  Treat your partner the way you will like to be treated.

v  When you have issues, speak out. Sometimes we expect our partners to look at us and discern what is going on with us but we forget that not everybody has the gift of discernment.

v  When you are tired of any relationship, invite the other party (ies) involved and dissolve it amicably rather than quietly withdrawing causing everyone to wonder where they went wrong.

v  Make time for your relationship.

In conclusion, I would like us to remember that no man can ultimately survive alone. That is to say building strong and healthy relationships is necessary and to achieve this, the importance of communication cannot be over emphasized.

SETTING GOALS

The fundamentals of setting a goal is an open secret known by top-caliber sportsmen, successful businessmen and businesswomen and every kind of achievers in all of the different fields. The fundamentals of setting goals give you short-term and long-term incentive and focus. They help you set focus on the purchase of required data and help you to plan and organize your resources and your time so you can get the very best out of your life.

Setting clearly defined short term and long-term goals will enable you to gauge your progress and achieve private satisfaction when you've successfully met your goals. Charting your progress will also allow you to essentially see the stages of completion leading to the actual realization of your goals. This loses the feeling of a long and useless grind towards achieving your goal. Your self confidence and level of competence will also improve as you'll be more conscious of your capabilities as you complete or achieve your goals.

The basics of goal settings will involve deciding what you actually want to do with your personal life and what short term and long term goals you want to realize it. Then you have to break down goals into the smaller and controllable targets that you must complete in your way to achieving your lifetime targets. Once you have your list spend no time in tackling your goals.

A good way to have a controllable list is to have a regular and weekly set of goals. By doing this you'll be always in the position of going towards you life plan goals. Everyday will give you the opportunity to meet a certain goal giving you the sensation of achievement.

Here are some pointers that should be taken into account in defining targets and achieving them.

Attitude plays a very massive role in setting and achieving your goals. You must ask yourself if any piece of you or your mind constraining you towards completing your simplest goals? If there are any piece of your behavior that is being a hindrance or puts your plans into disarray? If you do have problems in these areas then the instant course of action is to handle this problem. Solutions may include a trip to a doctor or psychiatric expert to manipulate your feelings.

Careers are manufactured by good time management practice. Failing in a vocation is often attributed to bad resource allocation. Careers require a lot from an individual which often makes the career the life of the person. Plan how far do you need to go into your career.

Education is essential in realizing your goals. If your goals need you to have a certain kind of degree or require a certain specialization or demand a certain skill to be developed, make plans in getting the right education.

Your folks should never be left out of your plans. If you are only starting then you've got to decide if you would like to be a parent or when you want to be a parent. You also need to know if you actually would be a good parent and how well would you relate to extended family members

Private money eventualities also play a big part in realizing your goals. Have a practical target on how much you want to earn. You also must be in a position to create plans or stages by which you will be in a position to reach your earning potential.

Physically presented people might be able to gain sports related goals like being in the nation's Basketball organization or state football League. Determining your physical capabilities should be one of your concerns. Physical restrictions could however be conquered with correct planning.

As the old chestnut goes -'All work and no play makes Jack a dreary boy,' or something to that effect, is by every means true down to the last the letter. Giving yourself a little pleasure : should be included into your plans. To start achieving your lifetime goals, set 1 / 4 of a century plan, then break it down to 5 year plans then break it down again to 1 year plans, then 6 month plans then monthly plans, then weekly, then daily.

Then create a things-to-do list for the day. Always review your plans and prepare for contingencies. The fundamentals of goal settings should not be so difficult after you get to be acquainted with them.

St Valentines Day: History, Defiance, Popularity

Valentines Day is a beautiful occasion that speaks of love and romance. All of us want to do something different and special for our loved ones on this day, but it will be nice if we know the real reason for the celebration.


Valentine's Day - the popular festival of love and romances traces its origin to ancient Roman festival and has not been created by card companies as some people believe it to be. There are various legends associated with the festival along with the belief that birds began to mate from this day. Popularity of the Valentine's Day festival stems from the combined effects of all these legends, beliefs and of course the wish to glorify the unparalleled feeling of love.
The pairing of young boys and girls did set the mood of the Valentine's Day Festival as we know today. But it was actually due to the efforts and daring of a priest St Valentine that the festival got its name and clearer meaning.The story goes that during the reign of Emperor Claudius II Rome was involved in several bloody and unpopular campaigns. Claudius found it tough to get soldiers and felt the reason was men did not join army because they did not wish to leave their wives and families. As a result Claudius cancelled all marriages and engagements in Rome. A romantic at heart priest of Rome Saint Valentine defied Claudius's unjustified order. Along with Saint Marius, St Valentine secretly married couples. When his defiance was discovered, Valentine was brutally beaten and put to death on February 14, about 270 AD. After his death Valentine was named a Saint.
Valentine's Day festival gradually grew in popularity amongst the masses due to the combined effect of all the above said reasons. To mark the day lovers began to exchange love notes called ‘Valentines' with their sweethearts. In the beginning the trend was to send handmade cards but this was changed in the beginning of 19th century and mass-produced greeting cards caught the fancy of the people. In the course of time, Valentine's day came to be regarded as the festival that celebrates love and not just romantic love. Today, Valentine's Day cards are gifted to teachers, parents, friends, siblings and sweethearts. Popularity of Valentine's Day has spread in countries across the seven continents and is still increasing by the year.

BEAUTY BEYOND DESCRIPTION

We think that we lack beauty and live in an imperfect world but that is only because we are not seeing correctly.

Beauty is an act of consciousness. It is an appreciation of color and form in the phenomena of experience.

Your form is always beautiful because it has been created with exquisite craftsmanship. Each cell is a celebration of evolutionary genius.

And, if you look beyond your form, to your mind, then you can only feel a sense of awe and wonder.

Your mind can process trillions of bits of information every second. At this very moment, your mind is orchestrating the exchange of oxygen from your bloodstream to your internal organs while your eyes are busy reading these words and your intellect is busy comprehending them.

All human beings are beautiful because each and every one has arisen from the creative genius of pure consciousness.

And the world itself is a living, moving poem, full of wondrous sights, sounds, and myriad impressions.

The saddest thing of all is how little we appreciate any of it.

Sunrises and sunsets are lost on us, the dew in the morning, and the touch of a lover's hands are all wasted on us. We do not see what is before us or feel what is within us because we are preoccupied with things of the utmost foolishness.

Does it really matter what people think of you? Does it really matter if you did not labor diligently enough to collect more papers with pictures of dead presidents on them? Isn't your true prosperity in being yourself and walking on this earth?

All day long, we spend trivializing things of inestimable value and esteeming things of trivial value.

We pride ourselves on being moral but everywhere we are busy committing the deadly sin of disparaging life and beauty, joy and carefree fulfillment.

You are always beautiful, whether you acknowledge it or not, and this beauty has nothing to do with the artificial standards about the best human forms of color, shape, and height. Your beauty is the very act of creation expressing itself as you.

The only thing more wonderful than being alive is being alive as you. What else is needed? Isn't everything else just a footnote to this beauty, the beauty of consciousness experiencing itself?

The most beautiful thing in creation is you. How long must it take before you lift up your head from your passing troubles and notice it?