MEN AND WOMEN: are they different?

Many people are of the opinion that men and women are the same when it comes to character and personality. But they are wrong. What they do not understand is men and women were made different physically as well as emotionally. Women may have equal understanding as men, but most of the time they do not think that deeply to draw a conclusion or solve a problem the way a man solves it. In order to resolve issues, especially issues related to relationships, one has to be clear about the differences between men and women and then act accordingly.

First and foremost, the difference between men and women is their way of problem solving. Their thought process is entirely different when it comes to household issues, and therefore they both propose different solutions to the same problem. Men usually do not consider a lot of issues as problems, whereas women take almost everything that causes tension and uproar in the house as trouble which if not solved correctly will lead to more difficulties and more tensions. Men have to understand regarding this matter and let their partners happily go about solving small household issues.

Men and women also differ in their approach to communication. Men are usually secretive about their inner thoughts and feelings and most of the time they like to resolve their problems internally rather than discussing them with their partner. Women on the other hand are more open and want to discuss each and every problem that comes up with their partner. They want to lighten their burden by doing so and for that matter they expect the man in their life to be an active listener and a good advisor. Men have no such expectations from their partner.

Sensitivity is another area where men and women differ from each other. It is a universally known fact that women are much more sensitive than men. A woman needs an outlet for her emotions. Most of the time she calms her senses through tears. Men are sensitive too, but they do not like to show the world their weaker side. They hide their feelings well behind that faqade of physical superiority. Women are sometimes ignorant of the fact that men also need condolence and sympathy at times, but the difference is that they do not ask for it. In this matter, women need to be very careful in order to make a relationship successful and they should understand their partners emotions and accordingly react to them.

Men have a sharper memory than women but their areas of focus are entirely different than what women perceive of them. They remember the directions, locations and the names and addresses of important associates etc. Women on the other hand tend to remember special events connected with emotions. They remember when an event took place, how well a person was dressed up, where to find a missing object and so on. Men consider these things useless and easily forgotten. Here both parties have to accept the difference between their ability to remember and therefore forgive each other for not remembering an event or a person that was important to either one of them.

In order to ensure a healthy relationship one has to keep in mind the fact that men and women were not made equal. They both have different attributes which when combined will lead any relationship to its success. So do not overlook your partners priorities and at the same time fulfill your own duties whole-heartedly. Only then you will be able to live a happy and fruitful life.

HOW TO MAINTAIN YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Your relationship is important to you. You don't want to lose it over something simple. There are a few things that you should do to keep it going well. Whether you are a typical guy that is prone to forget or if you are a busy girl with lots on your mind, there are a few things that everyone should make sure they remember in order to insure a happy relationship.

* Do you have a tendency to forget birthdays? There can be nothing worse than forgetting your loved one's birthday. This should be a day that you plan for so that you can insure that your loved one knows that you are thinking of them. Relationships need this!
* Your relationship is also in jeopardy if you fail to remember your anniversary. Let's face it, if you can't remember this day then you are in a lot of trouble!
* Other things that you may need to remember include major holidays especially those that are centered on love such as Valentine's Day. Don't forget to think about him during these times! Don't forget to plan a special day for her as well.
* In a lot of relationships it is also important to remember at least a few of those first. For example, your first date and the day you both first met are often considered important events. Perhaps the day that he proposed is also important.

So, now that you know which things you simply should not forget in your relationship, how will you go about remembering them? Don't rely on your memory to recall these dates. And, don't assume he or she will bring it up to remind you either. It could be a test! Instead, take a few minutes to either jot down the information in your planner. Keeping track of these important dates will keep you on the good side of your relationship!

How to Make Friends Easily

Everywhere you are, be it in an unfamiliar town, a new church, a new school, even on the road, meeting with people and making friends out of them is something so many people shy away from. But right here I have a couple of tips to help turn your world from a lonely island to a crowded city.
1. Be confident
Most people are often lonely, not because they are not attractive or they have one problem or the other, but simply because they are shy or afraid. The simple truth is the average human being wants to make friends, (and that goes for yourself too). One policy I adopt is to ask first, never assume what the other person is thinking; find out first. And that takes some level of courage.
2. Offer a compliment
There is always something good about everyone you meet. And everybody likes to be appreciated. So to get someone's attention I'll suggest you offer a compliment. It serves as an ego booster (everyone loves an ego boost) and it is a sure way of establishing a connection and of course a rapport. May I also say that you should be truthful about your compliments. Don't flatter; compliment. No matter how small, it will be appreciated.
3. Listen more, talk less
Truth is, everyone is more interested in themselves than in other people, hell, that's the reason you decided to make friends in the first place. So when you try to make a conversation with someone, listen more and talk less. Assure the person that you are listening by good eye contact, affirmations and clever questions. With this you even get to discern what kind of person he or she is. After this it is safe to ask for a phone number and plan to hang out.
4. Pay attention (No technology)
We just talked about getting a phone number, see, most people are always preoccupied with their devices which may be phones, iPods and the works. This is a no-no, it's a connection blocker. Pay more attention to your immediate surroundings, you will be amazed at who you will notice and who will notice you.
5. Be happy
Everyone has enough problems (even you). Try not to bug others with your issues by putting on a long face. It drives people away. See, even if you make the move, your expression alone can put people on the defensive and no matter how hard you try you may not make headway. Add humor to your lifestyle and you will attract people.
6. Associate yourself with a movement or club
This is also important. Some people live what I'll like to call a "triangular life"; home to school or work to church and back home. That's not nice. Join one group or the other, it gives you a chance to mingle with people of your type. You will always have something to talk about.
7. Don't be idle, do something
This is important in so many ways. These days' people like to be around people who have something they are doing. You could get a job, make some money. Besides what's the use of having a girlfriend when you cannot spend some money on her. Beside you meet people any where there is work going on, so you keep making friend no matter what.
8. Go do it
You'll be at the same level you were if you don't make a move. Consciously make the effort to go out there and make friends from today. You can start by giving yourself a target number every day. Before you know, it will become a lifestyle.
Well, happy making friends.

AM I IN A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP?

It Feels Like Love - But Is It?

Sometimes it feels impossible to find someone who's right for you — and who thinks you're right for him or her! So when it happens, you're usually so psyched that you don't even mind when your little brother finishes all the ice cream or your English teacher chooses the one day when you didn't do your reading to give you a pop quiz.
It's totally normal to look at the world through rose-colored glasses in the early stages of a relationship. But for some people, those rose-colored glasses turn into blinders that keep them from seeing that a relationship isn't as healthy as it should be.

What Makes a Healthy Relationship?

Hopefully, you and your significant other are treating each other well. Not sure if that's the case? Take a step back from the dizzying sensation of being swept off your feet and think about whether your relationship has these seven qualities:

• Mutual respect. Does he or she get how cool you are and why? (Watch out if the answer to the first part is yes but only because you're acting like someone you're not!) The key is that your BF or GF is into you for who you are — for your great sense of humor, your love of reality TV, etc. Does your partner listen when you say you're not comfortable doing something and then back off right away? Respect in a relationship means that each person values who the other is and understands — and would never challenge — the other person's boundaries.
• Trust. You're talking with a guy from French class and your boyfriend walks by. Does he completely lose his cool or keep walking because he knows you'd never cheat on him? It's OK to get a little jealous sometimes — jealousy is a natural emotion. But how a person reacts when feeling jealous is what matters. There's no way you can have a healthy relationship if you don't trust each other.

SPEECH BY PRESIDENT GOODLUCK EBELE JONATHAN DECLARING HIS CANDIDACY FOR THE PDP PRESIDENTIAL PRIMARIES

by Goodluck Jonathan on Saturday, 18 September 2010 at 15:32

SPEECH BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA, DR. GOODLUCK EBELE JONATHAN, GCFR, ON THE OCCASION OF THE DECLARATION OF HIS CANDIDACY FOR THE PDP PRESIDENTIAL PRIMARIES, TODAY 18TH SEPTEMBER, 2010.

PROTOCOL

Forty months ago my predecessor in office and I embarked on a joint ticket in the governance of our great country, Nigeria.  Sadly, he passed away on the 5th of May 2010.

MAY HIS GENTLE SOUL REST IN PERFECT PEACE, AMEN.

With the death of President Umaru Musa Yar'Adua, the mantle of leadership of our great nation fell on me.  However, the days leading to my presidency were very trying times for our nation. We confronted those moments and their challenges to national security with patriotism and care.  I appreciate the role played by the National Assembly, Governors, Civil Society groups,  the mass media,  and other patriotic Nigerians. 

The late President Yar'Adua and I shared great dreams for our country.  We toiled together to realize those dreams in order to justify the confidence Nigerians reposed in us.  Together we swore to execute a joint mandate and today I come before you to make a pronouncement based on that undertaking.

 The past four months that I have served as President of Nigeria have opened my eyes to the vast potentials of this office as a potent instrument for the transformation of our country.  I discovered that by sheer willpower,  I could end the long queues and price fluctuations in our petrol stations.  Today, all our refineries are working,  saving us huge amounts of funds spent on importation of petroleum products. 

I discovered that by insisting that the right things be done,  we could begin a turnaround in our power sector by involving the private sector in power generation and distribution.  As you can see from the lower quantities of diesel that you are buying today,  power generation has significantly improved.

I have put in place new gas policies and very soon,  we will be saying goodbye to gas flaring in our oil fields.  Working with the National Assembly,  we rolled out a law that requires companies operating in the oil and gas sectors of our economy to utilize an appreciable percentage of their goods and services from local sources.  We saw to it that normalcy began to return to the Niger Delta by ensuring government's fidelity to its promises,  and this has helped to stabilize our national revenue. 

In the last few months,  I embarked on monumental projects in our road infrastructure to end the carnage on our federal highways.  I began several projects to make our water resources available for drinking and farming.  I targeted our educational system to return quality and competitiveness to them. I re-addressed our drive for self sufficiency in food production. I have taken bold steps to confront our security situation. In this regard,  we are pursuing the revision of our laws to be more responsive to international conventions and more punitive to criminals. 

I set the stage for free and fair elections by constituting an electoral commission comprising of Nigerians with impeccable credentials for firmness and incorruptibility.  I charged our anti corruption agencies to speed up the war against corruption,  and respect no sacred cows in the process.  In the management of the economy,  I advocated a more transparent banking industry, price stability,  low inflation,  and aggregate increase in productivity as a way to drive us to a more prosperous economy.  In International Relations,  I advanced the respectability accorded our country by effective engagement in global fora.

From the moment I was sworn in as President,  I came under intense pressure to make a declaration concerning my political future,  but declined to do so because it would have immediately distracted us from all the development initiatives we have accomplished so far. 

As President and leader of this government,  I decided not to place partisan politics above the immediate needs and priorities of our people.  I therefore told Nigerians to give me time to concentrate on my work, and that at the appropriate time,  I would make a public statement on my political future after widespread consultations. 

Those consultations have now been concluded. The Independent National Electoral Commission  has recently announced a time table for the 2011 general elections in the country.  My party, the Peoples Democratic Party,  has also published a timetable for its primaries. 

In the circumstances and after a thorough self examination and prayers with my family,  I,  Goodluck Ebele Azikiwe Jonathan have decided to humbly offer myself as a candidate in the Presidential Primaries of our great party,  the Peoples Democratic Party,  in order to stand for the 2011 Presidential elections.   I pledge once again to all the people of this nation that they will have a free and fair election, even as I stand to be a candidate. In this race,  I have the honour to have as my running mate,  Architect Namadi Sambo, the Vice President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

Our country is at the threshold of a new era;  an era that beckons for a new kind of leadership;  a leadership that is uncontaminated by the prejudices of the past;  a leadership committed to change;  a leadership that reinvents government,  to solve the everyday problems that confront the average Nigerian.

I was not born rich,  and in my youth,  I never imagined that I would be where I am today,  but not once did I ever give up.  Not once did I imagine that a child from Otuoke,  a small village in the Niger Delta, will one day rise to the position of President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria. I was raised by my mother and father with just enough money to meet our daily needs. 

In my early days in school,  I had no shoes,  no school bags.  I carried my books in my hands but never despaired;  no car to take me to school but I never despaired.  There were days I had only one meal but I never despaired.  I walked miles and crossed rivers to school every day but I never despaired.  Didn't have power,  didn't have generators,  studied with lanterns but I never despaired. 

In spite of these,  I finished secondary school,  attended the University of Port Harcourt,  and now hold a doctorate degree.

Fellow Nigerians,  if I could make it,  you too can make it!

My story is the story of a young Nigerian whose access to education opened up vast opportunities that enabled me to attain my present position.  As I travel up and down our country,  I see a nation blessed by God with rich agricultural and mineral resources and an enterprising people.  I see millions of Nigerians whose potentials for greatness are constrained by the lack of basic infrastructure. 

I see Nigerians who can make a difference in the service of their country but are disadvantaged by the lack of opportunities.

My story symbolizes my dream for Nigeria. The dream that any Nigerian child from Kaura- Namoda to Duke town; from Potiskum to Nsukka, from Isale-Eko to Gboko will be able to realize his God-given potentials,  unhindered by tribe or religion and unrestricted by improvised political inhibitions. My story holds out the promise of a new Nigeria.  A Nigeria built on the virtues of love and respect for one another,  on unity,  on industry,  on hardwork and on good governance.

My fellow Nigerians, this is what has brought me to Eagle Square today.  I have come to say to all of you,  that Goodluck Ebele Azikiwe Jonathan is the man you need to put Nigeria right.  I have come to launch a campaign of ideas, not one of calumny.  I have come to preach love, not hate. I have come to break you away from divisive tendencies of the past which have slowed our drive to true nationhood. I have no enemies to fight.  You are all my friends and we share a common destiny.

Let the word go out from this Eagle Square that Jonathan as President in 2011 will herald a new era of transformation of our country;  an era that will end the agony of power shortage in our country. Let the word go out from here that I will be for the students, teachers and parents of Nigeria,  a President who will advance quality and competitive education. Let everyone in this country hear that I shall strive to the best of my ability to attain self sufficiency in food production.

Let the word go out that my plans for a Sovereign Wealth Fund with an initial capital of $1billion will begin the journey for an economic restoration. This restoration will provide new job opportunities and alleviate poverty. Let the word go out that our health sector will receive maximum priority in a new Jonathan administration, a priority that will ensure maximum health care and stop our brain drain.

Let all the kidnappers,  criminal elements,  and miscreants that give us a bad name be ready for the fight that I shall give them. Let the ordinary Nigerian be assured that President Jonathan will have zero tolerance for corruption. Let the international community hear that today I have offered myself to lead a country that will engage them in mutual respect and cooperation for the achievement of international peace and understanding.

To help me in these tasks effectively,  I will re-train,  revamp,  and motivate the civil service.

My dear good people of Nigeria,  I got here today by the power of God and the support of all Nigerians;  all ethnic groups, North,  South,  East and West.   I am here today because of your support and prayers.  I want all of you to know that I am one of you and I will never let you down! I want you to know that I will keep hope alive;  I want you to know that your time has come.

I stand before you today,  humbly seeking your support for me,  Goodluck Ebele Azikiwe Jonathan,  to run for the office of the President of Nigeria with Architect Namadi Sambo as my running mate.

We will fight for JUSTICE!

We will fight for all Nigerians to have access to POWER!

We will fight for qualitative and competitive EDUCATION!

We will fight for HEALTH CARE REFORMS!

We will fight to create jobs, for all Nigerians!

We will fight corruption!

We will fight to protect all Citizens!

We will fight for your rights!

My dear country men and women, give me your support, give me your votes and together we will fight to build a great nation of our dreams!

I cannot end this speech without thanking you all for attending this occasion.  Your huge attendance is a loud testimony of your support for us. For this I am very grateful. I pray that the Almighty God abides with you and sees you safely back to your respective destinations.

When you return, tell all those at home that as we celebrate our fifty years anniversary as a nation, Goodluck has come to transform Nigeria and I will never let you down.

Thank You.

May God Bless you all!

And may God bless the Federal Republic of Nigeria!!

-         GOODLUCK EBELE AZIKIWE JONATHAN, GCFR.